Disclaimer: I want to make clear that not much has been said on the Bible about this and thus these are MY convictions and I won’t force them upon anyone else. I have nothing against people whose convictions are otherwise. But if somehow you can obtain wisdom out of it, then it would be my greatest honor and pleasure. No, I don’t ward guys off and I have a lot of close, healthy friendships with males in my life – men that I trust with every fiber of my being and have one-on-one friendly dates with. And in case of any intrigue, this is addressed to a general audience and I’m not writing to one specific person. I would also like to give a shoutout to my closest male friends, three of whom pre-approved this post. Couldn’t be more blessed to have you guys. ❤️

Dear Male Friend,

Before anything else, I would like to say that I am immensely blessed to have you in my life. Thank you for always being one phone call away when I need you – for being my bodyguard when unwanted guys go knocking at my door; for going out of your way to drive me home and make sure I’m safe; for being a shoulder to cry on when my heart gets broken; for being a confidant when my world comes shattering around me. Thank you for exhibiting what it means to be a true man of God and for walking out the kind of strength and bravery that matters.

Thank you for always protecting me, so allow me to protect you too.

You should know by now how affectionate I am, all the while knowing how firm I am when it comes to making sure no one falls beyond the line. You must wonder why I didn’t allow you to go to me when I was sick in my condo alone and you wanted to take care of me, or why I carefully drew up additional boundaries when I found out you liked me.

Do understand, I am thrilled to know I’m one of the closest friends you have and I’m one of the people you trust most. But when I encourage you to go to your male friends and leaders so that you could build deeper relationships with them, believe me when I say I’m doing what I believe would please God most.

See, I don’t want to be the first person you run to when you have a problem. I don’t want to be your main accountability partner. I don’t want you to think of me as your best friend or your closest friend.

I want all those to be your wife.

And until you meet her and build that kind of relationship with her, look for someone of the same gender whom you can trust, look up to, and share life with. Let him be your go-to person, not me. No, I’m not saying you stop opening up to me, please do. I love such conversations with you, and I appreciate you trusting me like that. Just don’t let me be your number one friend.

Also, on the very small chance that you think said future wife is me, just stop right there and hold your horses. Yes, it’s okay to pray for me and ask God for me. But until you full-out pursue me, don’t invest so much emotionally. I am in awe that you, knowing me fully and having seen me in my unguarded moments, would even consider me. So if you want to keep it in your heart, go ahead. Just don’t focus on it. Guard your heart, even if you do like me.

1 Timothy 5:1-2 speaks about how we should treat each other with absolute purity. I want to honor God with this friendship, and I want us to set an example on how people of opposite genders can be amazing, close friends and yet still not blur lines. Like C.S Lewis once wrote, friendship is standing side by side facing something in common, while lovers stand face to face to focus more on each other. Let’s journey this road looking towards God, not each other.

One day, you’ll get married. Probably to a girl that’s not me. And I don’t want us to keep reassuring her that our friendship doesn’t hold a candle to her and that it’s her who you absolutely, truly love. Rather than leaving any semblance of doubt in her about our relationship, I want her to see its purity and how much we protected each other from going too near the guardrails. Rather than driving her nuts and insecure, I want her to thank me for being her husband’s friend and for walking with him through his ups and downs as a sister.

I want your wife to love me and our friendship, too.

Similarly, I’ll get married (I hope). HAHAHAHAHA. And I’m sure somewhere out there, my future husband is building relationships with amazing, godly women who will walk with him in this life. I’ll owe a lot to these lovely women for really guiding him and loving him through his roller coasters; for standing with him even when the ground is shaking; for building him up in God – the same way I hope I’m doing with you now. And I’m just treating you the way I hope they’re treating him right now, too.

Now don’t worry, I am not robbing you of coffee-date privileges and I will still allow you to drive me when you’re worried about my safety and I will still seat shotgun even if we’re with a group. We need close, healthy men-women relationships to fully flourish. But do remember if ever I start to be careful, I’m doing it not only for me and my future husband, but also for you and your future wife.

So in honor of you, I will go a little poetic here. I am vastly honored that in this colossal, tragic world full of smashing cosmos and comets torn apart, the Lord allowed your universe to collide with mine. It is my greatest pleasure to grow with you, super sizing until we explode and shine like the stars God meant for us to be – making earth-shattering impact whenever we come together and leaving others in awe of how we reflect His oceanic, mountainous, planetary glory.

But dear friend, when she comes, the universe won’t just shudder.

The heavens will sing.

And I’ll be on the front row, belting off with the choir of angels.

53 thoughts on “Dear Guy Friend: I Want Your Wife to Love Me 

  • elleica

    Great blog! It’s inspiring as I have started to develop close friendships with several guys but whose lines I do not want to blur.

    Reply
    • jadeyannemarie

      That’s wonderful, I’m so glad it ministered to you and I’m sure God is pleased with your heart and how you want to maintain purity in your relationships. Your friends are blessed to have you! Always remember that in absolutely everything, respond in a way that would honor God. 🙂 God bless you! ❤️

      Reply
  • avrylle

    I’m blessed with your writing..:)

    Reply
  • avrylle

    I’m blessed with your writing..:)

    Reply
  • snkingdeep

    Reblogged this on snkingdeep.

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  • snkingdeep

    Reblogged this on snkingdeep.

    Reply
  • Awit

    Thank GOD for HIS wisdom bestowed upon you. It is very relevant and helpful not only for young single adults. . but even for the married ones.

    Reply
  • Awit

    Thank GOD for HIS wisdom bestowed upon you. It is very relevant and helpful not only for young single adults. . but even for the married ones.

    Reply
  • princesshcroyon

    Reblogged this on The Princess Writes.

    Reply
  • princesshcroyon

    Reblogged this on The Princess Writes.

    Reply
  • Neyzielle Ronnicque

    Reblogged this on The Wander Keeper and commented:
    Also, on the very small chance that you think said future wife is me, just stop right there and hold your horses. Yes, it’s okay to pray for me and ask God for me. But until you full-out pursue me, don’t invest so much emotionally.

    For my guy best friends, I love you all just the same.

    Reply
  • Neyzielle Ronnicque

    Reblogged this on The Wander Keeper and commented:
    Also, on the very small chance that you think said future wife is me, just stop right there and hold your horses. Yes, it’s okay to pray for me and ask God for me. But until you full-out pursue me, don’t invest so much emotionally.

    For my guy best friends, I love you all just the same.

    Reply
  • jackie

    Yeah you can stop this bullshit cause we all know you are pertaining to Pao.
    You wont be typing this bullshit if you like Pao or he happens to be good looking. I’m pretty sure if someone attractive does those things towards you, then you would be reacting differently.

    Reply
    • jadeyannemarie

      Hi, “jackie!” 🙂 well first off, I have nothing to prove to you about my relationship with Pao or my thoughts when I was writing this post, because what matters to me is God knows. 🙂 I am replying to state this: Pao is attractive. All of my guy friends, in their own ways, are attractive. Honestly, some are even my type. But no, that actually doesn’t change a thing anymore because that’s the thing when you want to please God – it’s more about Him and His people, and less about what you want or how you feel. 🙂 God bless you! 🙂

      Reply
      • Missionartist

        First off, thank you for replying so graciously to Jackie.

        Anyway, thanks for writing this! This is beautiful. I wish you more blessings!

        Reply
  • jackie

    Yeah you can stop this bullshit cause we all know you are pertaining to Pao.
    You wont be typing this bullshit if you like Pao or he happens to be good looking. I’m pretty sure if someone attractive does those things towards you, then you would be reacting differently.

    Reply
    • jadeyannemarie

      Hi, “jackie!” 🙂 well first off, I have nothing to prove to you about my relationship with Pao or my thoughts when I was writing this post, because what matters to me is God knows. 🙂 I am replying to state this: Pao is attractive. All of my guy friends, in their own ways, are attractive. Honestly, some are even my type. But no, that actually doesn’t change a thing anymore because that’s the thing when you want to please God – it’s more about Him and His people, and less about what you want or how you feel. 🙂 God bless you! 🙂

      Reply
      • Missionartist

        First off, thank you for replying so graciously to Jackie.

        Anyway, thanks for writing this! This is beautiful. I wish you more blessings!

        Reply
  • shewasborntowin

    Reblogged this on shewasborntowin and commented:
    how could you have put this into words. T_T I am in awe. <3

    Reply
  • shewasborntowin

    Reblogged this on shewasborntowin and commented:
    how could you have put this into words. T_T I am in awe. <3

    Reply
  • Jeshielle

    Reblogged this on milkcheesepotatomato.

    Reply
  • Jeshielle

    Reblogged this on milkcheesepotatomato.

    Reply
  • CIANNE

    Reblogged this on Be BRAVE and BOLD and commented:
    “See, I don’t want to be the first person you run to when you have a problem. I don’t want to be your main accountability partner. I don’t want you to think of me as your best friend or your closest friend.

    I want all those to be your wife.”

    Reply
  • CIANNE

    Reblogged this on Be BRAVE and BOLD and commented:
    “See, I don’t want to be the first person you run to when you have a problem. I don’t want to be your main accountability partner. I don’t want you to think of me as your best friend or your closest friend.

    I want all those to be your wife.”

    Reply
  • heavenwardadventures

    Reblogged this on Heavenward Adventures.

    Reply
  • heavenwardadventures

    Reblogged this on Heavenward Adventures.

    Reply
  • Kath

    Reblogged this on kathrinaespiritu.

    Reply
  • Kath

    Reblogged this on kathrinaespiritu.

    Reply
  • beautyinthemorning

    wooow… your put into words the things i really want to tell my friends. thank you so much 🙂 Great blog! You have blessed my heart today 🙂

    Reply
  • beautyinthemorning

    wooow… your put into words the things i really want to tell my friends. thank you so much 🙂 Great blog! You have blessed my heart today 🙂

    Reply
  • beautyinthemorning

    Reblogged this on beautyinthemorning.

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  • beautyinthemorning

    Reblogged this on beautyinthemorning.

    Reply
  • Veronica Rivera

    Such wisdom and boldness. Totally agree with what you said here. Hoping I could be this transparent and clear with my guy friends if I do have. Hahaha

    Reply
    • jadeyannemarie

      Ask God to place such men in your life! 🙂 There are so many godly men out there who are willing to walk with you, protect you, and be your brother. And you really need such men to adventure this life with you, because you learn certain insights and perspectives from them that you wouldn’t from those of the same gender. 🙂

      Reply
  • Veronica Rivera

    Such wisdom and boldness. Totally agree with what you said here. Hoping I could be this transparent and clear with my guy friends if I do have. Hahaha

    Reply
    • jadeyannemarie

      Ask God to place such men in your life! 🙂 There are so many godly men out there who are willing to walk with you, protect you, and be your brother. And you really need such men to adventure this life with you, because you learn certain insights and perspectives from them that you wouldn’t from those of the same gender. 🙂

      Reply
  • utopia03

    Reblogged this on Rosetti.

    Reply
  • utopia03

    Reblogged this on Rosetti.

    Reply
  • dythanne

    Reblogged this on A Merry Heart.

    Reply
  • dythanne

    Reblogged this on A Merry Heart.

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  • Kristina Coleen

    The message was really a blessing. Thank you for sharing this. ^_^

    Reply
  • Kristina Coleen

    The message was really a blessing. Thank you for sharing this. ^_^

    Reply
  • Maia

    Reblogged this on Half agony, half hope and commented:
    For my best guy friend

    Reply
  • Maia

    Reblogged this on Half agony, half hope and commented:
    For my best guy friend

    Reply
  • Jozah Marie

    Reblogged this on Woman app and commented:
    With absolute purity 🙂

    Reply
  • Jozah Marie

    Reblogged this on Woman app and commented:
    With absolute purity 🙂

    Reply
  • Doctor Eamer

    “Just don’t let me be your number one friend.” … Same sentiments to my girl friends. Hehe! 🙂 Nice one Jade! Awesome! #StandingOvation for this! 🙂

    Reply
  • Doctor Eamer

    “Just don’t let me be your number one friend.” … Same sentiments to my girl friends. Hehe! 🙂 Nice one Jade! Awesome! #StandingOvation for this! 🙂

    Reply
  • signorinamelrice

    <3 <3 <3

    Reply
  • signorinamelrice

    <3 <3 <3

    Reply
  • EUGENE

    What a great reminder for all of us guys!:) I am teary eye at this moment and reminded of how I should guard my heart. Sometimes I really want to text her and get a chance to be with her, though this is not the right time,but you know what, when I was reading your blog I was thinking of my future wife not her specifically but to the girl that God wants for me. Thank you! you are an Inspiration to everyone!:) God Bless you.

    Reply
  • EUGENE

    What a great reminder for all of us guys!:) I am teary eye at this moment and reminded of how I should guard my heart. Sometimes I really want to text her and get a chance to be with her, though this is not the right time,but you know what, when I was reading your blog I was thinking of my future wife not her specifically but to the girl that God wants for me. Thank you! you are an Inspiration to everyone!:) God Bless you.

    Reply

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